Letting Go in Trust

I nearly did not survive the birth of our first son.  After the birth, the obstetrician came in and asked me if I was alright.  He assured me that mother and baby were doing fine, but he had some concerns about me.  Through halting sobs I told him I was fine. “Just feeling a bit emotional,” I said.

It struck me that our son was now out in the world, having left the safe fluid-filled sanctuary of the womb.  He was so small and so perfect, yet so vulnerable.  A part of me wanted him back in his safe place, but most of me was delighted that he had come into the world.

I could have delivered our second son myself, no doctor necessary.  By that time I had learned that babies are resilient and adaptable; they are well suited for surviving inexperienced parents.

From the time a child is born we are letting them go.  They are born into the world, then learn to crawl, after that to walk.  They learn to ride a bicycle; then they begin driving, go off the college, get a job, move out, and build a life on their own.  With each transition there is joy, and there is loss, a letting go of what we would like to hang on to.

Recently my wife and I took our younger son, fresh out of university, from New York to Los Angeles to begin a job.  We left him standing in the door of his new apartment with the necessary minimal amount of Ikea furniture and his cat Mimsey.  It was another letting go, a further turning loose.

I felt like the mother of Moses placing her child in the basket and leaving him among the reeds along the Nile.  This is faith: irreversibly turning precious things over to God.  Things turned out alright for Moses, made a bit of  a name for himself.

Life is a series of transitions.  Transitions can bring new opportunities; they can be born of growth and accomplishment.  Nonetheless, even good transitions can carry an element of loss.  Believers can process this loss as a kind of turning over to God.  The loss is still there, but we are not alone in it.

Do I miss my sons as they are out there making their way in the world? Yes.  Am I joyful for the lives they are building? Yes.  My joy outstrips my loss when I see it as a turning over of precious things to God.

Jim Kelsey
Executive Minister-American Baptist Churches of New York State