Winners and Losers on Wednesday

 

Are you “red,” as in Republican red?  Or are you “blue”, as in Democrat blue.  Some people are “purple,” a mixture of red and blue.  I know that real life is not this simple, but these are the colors we have been given.  Let’s go with them.

You may be aware that Tuesday is Election Day.  We have “blue” candidates and “red” candidates and a few “outside the lines” candidates.  In particular, we have a presidential contest where the “blue” guy and the “red” guy are in a closely contested battle with enthusiastic followers.  Only one will win in the end.  We could have an Electoral College tie; in the end, however, a winner will emerge.

On Wednesday, or maybe Thursday or maybe Friday or maybe early January, those of us who voted will wake up feeling, in a way, that we won or lost.  This is inevitable.

So how will these winners and losers have rewarding and reconciling conversations?

One way is to listen with curiosity and understanding.  We will need to do more than simply hear what others are saying and then agree or disagree with it.  We will need to sort out why they say what they say.

Let me give an example, a divisive and highly politicized one:  guns.  We talk of gun control and of the right to bear arms.  Even the terms we use betray our bias.  The language we choose to use to talk about guns is a product of our experiences and loyalties. 

I was talking with a colleague whose father-in-law is offended by the use of the word “weapon” for his gun.  He says his gun is a “tool” he uses as he works his ranch and supports his family.

 I, on the other hand, have lived in populated areas where guns have one function: to shoot people, be those guns in the hands of soldiers, police officers, homeowners, or criminals. So guns, in my experience, are weapons. 

Tool or weapon?  Our word choice reflects our experiences and our loyalties.  I wonder how much more productive our conversations about gun control/rights (both loaded words—no pun intended) would be if we began by asking one another:  So tell me what has been your experience with and exposure to firearms?

As we talk our way into our common future, we will need not just to hear what someone is saying but also understand why they are saying what they are saying.  This does not mean that we will all agree on all things; we certainly will not; there are significant values at stake in our disagreements. It does mean that we can preserve our relationships, heal our communities, and extend dignity to one another in all our diversity.

You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger;  for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness [James 1:19-20].

Jim Kelsey
Executive Minister—American Baptist Churches of New York State