Agreeing with God and Living Well with Ourselves

 

Psalm 32

Lent 2023

 

THE MOOD OF LENT

From childhood, we are taught how to navigate life: play nice; get along well with others; and share your toys. As we grow older, our relationships grow more complex, as do the rules.  Those basic childhood rules, however, are still good guides to adult living.  In particular, getting along well with others increase our joy and minimizes our hardships as we move through life. 

The season of Lent is about living well with God.  It is also about living well with ourselves.  The two are intertwined.

During Lent we have a tendency to talk about repentance, which presupposes moral culpability for the damage we have done and the good we have left undone. The traditional Bible word for this is sin. 

MODERN SENSIBILITIES

Freud came along and taught us to categorize our behavior in a clinically detached way, removing most of the moral element. The rationale of Lent rejects this particular piece of Freudian thought.

 Then Margaret Mead, the American anthropologist, came along and argued that human behavior is culturally conditioned; we are a product of our society. She tested this by examining gender roles in different societies. The question is not whether behavior is right or wrong but rather is it appropriate.  We are certainly a product, to some degree, of our environment.  This does not, however, remove our responsibility for how we live.  Lent recognizes this responsibility.

Both Freud and Mead should, however, introduce some caution and compassion into our commentary on ourselves and others.  If we see a turtle on a fence post, we know the turtle did not put itself up there; it had help.  Our response should be to help the turtle off the fence post, so to speak.  When we see the life of another person headed in a destructive way, we need to remember they had help getting to that point. We should do what we can to help them to move to a better place.  We should engage in the same compassion concerning our own lives.

Recognizing moral culpability, ours and that of others, does not free us from compassion, mercy, and patience.  That failure, in and of itself, makes us morally culpable. 

THE NAGGING SENSE THAT SOMETHING IS NOT QUITE RIGHT

With modern sensibilities—via Freud and Mead—deleting much of the moral dimension from our behavior, we might expect we all would feel free from guilt and feel empowered us to accept ourselves without any personal discomfort.

 

Experience has not born that out.  The 20th century theologian Reinhold Niebuhr observed that the tragedy of modern people is we can conceive of self-perfection but cannot achieve it.  We still sense that something is not quite right with us.  In the quiet of the night, we find ourselves unsettled about ourselves.  We regret things said and done and things not said and not done.

Karl Jung hit closer to the mark than did Freud or Mead.  Jung observed we have a shadow self, a part of our character that does not match up with our ideal sense of we would like to be.  There are parts of us that are not only unacceptable to those around us but are also unacceptable to ourselves.  Jung encourages us to accept that shadow self, not indulge it but acknowledge it.  In that way we can gain some power over it; we disarm it.

THE PSALMIST ALREADY KNEW ALL THIS

The Psalmist wrote the same thing long ago:  “While I kept silent my body wasted away [v. 3].”  When the Psalmist acknowledges the truth that has been lurking within, the Psalmist is set free:  “Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did hide my iniquity [v. 5].”

Upon realizing there is healing and joy in agreeing with God about our failures, the Psalmist enthusiastically proclaims:  “I will confess my transgression to the Lord,” and God forgave the guilt of my sin.  In honesty before God, God becomes a “hiding place” for the Psalmist, a preserver and deliverer (v. 7).

When we agree with God—which is the definition of confession—and take ownership of the damage we have done and the good we have left undone, then we are finally free to live comfortably with ourselves and with God. 

Adam, when confronted by God for eating the forbidden fruit, blames “the woman whom you gave to be with me” (Gen. 3:12), thereby blaming the woman and implicitly blaming God for giving him the woman in the first place!  Eve, when confronted by God, blames the snake (Gen. 3:12-14). We too, when confronted with our failures, want to assign blame elsewhere.  The Psalmist will have none of that.

 I suspect hell is a place where no one takes responsibility for anything. Everyone all day long chimes “not my fault,” and nothing is ever repaired. 

GRACE ENABLES US TO BEAR UP UNDER HONESTY

This kind of honest responsibility-taking can lead to despair and alienation from ourselves and God if it comes to us unaccompanied by grace. If this honesty is coupled with confession and an experience of grace, we walk across the threshold to renewed life.  We find a way to live with ourselves, knowing that we are--for now--a long way from perfect.

The Swiss physician Paul Tournier compares confession to pulling out a stopper so life can flow again. This is what the Psalmist discovered long before Touriner put it so concretely. 

The rhythm of Lent is not a song of denial and discipline and denigration of self.  Rather the rhythm of Lent is a tune of renewed and grander life.  It is about agreeing with God and finding a way to live with our imperfect selves and a holy God.

Our God, we have done things we should not have done, and we have left undone things we should have done.  We could have chosen otherwise.  And we have tried to find relief through denial and blaming.  

We cast ourselves upon your mercy. 

Cleanse us from guilt and empower us to do better.  May your Spirit nourish renewed life in us in this season of Lent.

For the forgiveness of sin, for deliverance from our weakness, we give you thanks.  May the assurance of your love and your longing for our wholeness embolden us to be honest with ourselves and the grace to live with ourselves—not satisfied with who we are—but able to begin there and grow evermore into the image of your Son Jesus Christ. Amen. 

Jim Kelsey-Executive Minister—American Baptist Churches of New York State